| Who
fired the shot ? |
| An
80-year old man was having his annual checkup and
the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
“I've never been better!” he boasted. “I've got an
eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having
my child! What do you think about that?”
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,
“Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an
avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day,
he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally
grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun.” The doctor
continued, “So he was in the woods, and suddenly a
grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up
his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed
the handle. And do you know what happened?” the doctor
queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied, “No”.
The doctor continued, “The bear dropped dead in front
of him!”
“That's impossible!” exclaimed the old man. “Someone
else must have shot that bear”.
“That's kind of what I'm getting at,” replied the
doctor. |
|
|
| Doctor's
diplomacy |
A
neurologist diagnosed a patient with carpal tunnel
syndrome. The same patient also had a back problem
and went to see an orthopedic surgeon. The orthopedician
was full of ego and told the patient he did not have
carpal tunnel syndrome.
The patient came back to the neurologist and told
him what the surgeon said.
The neurologist, being diplomatic and wanting to keep
his turf too, said, “Yes, sir, the orthopedic Surgeon
is absolutely right. You do not have carpal tunnel
syndrome in your back!” |
|
The
prescription mix up ! |
92
year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down
the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At his follow up visit the doctor talked to the man
and said, “You're really doing great, aren't you?”
The man replied, “Just doing what you said Doctor,
“Get a hot mamma and be cheerful”. The Doctor said,
“I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur.
Be careful”. |
|
Dentist's
bloomer |
After
a difficult day seeing patients, most of whom had
been children, the dentist's biggest challenge had
been getting those little mouths to stay open. To
his delight, his last patient was an adult. “Welcome,”
he told her as he began the examination. “It's so
nice to work on someone with a big mouth”. |
|
FALLING
FOR? & Results! |
| •
A chef?
You get buttered up.
• A chauffeur?
You get taken for a ride
• A gambler?
He cheats on you.
• A telephone operator?
He gives you a phoney-y line
• A trashman?
He dumps you
• A
clockmaker?
He two-times you
• A pastry cook?
He desserts you
• A shoe salesman?
He walks all over you.
• An elevator operator?
He lets you down
• An artist?
He gives you the brush
• A jogger?
He gives you the run-around |
|
|
