|
She:
“He's been sitting there all day, doing nothing but
wasting his time”.
He: “How do you know?” She: “Because I've been watching
him”. |
|
A man had
lived to a ripe old age. In fact, he was well over
eighty. When asked about his reading habits, he replied:
“I'm reading the Bible because I'm cramming for the
finals.” |
|
At a
dance party, a young lady had just been introduce to her
partner. By way of making conversation she said, “who is
that terribly ugly man?”
“Why, that's my brother !” he exclaimed. “Oh ! you must
excuse me,” said the lady in embarrassment and added
apologetically “I really hadn't noticed the
resemblance”. |
|
Uncle
John came to stay, and before leaving gave his nephew
five dollars.
“Now, be careful with that money, Tommy,“ he said
“Remember the saying, ‘A fool and his money are soon
parted'”.
“Yes?” replied Tommy, “but I want to thank you for
parting with it, just the same”. |
|
A Farmer
whose barn burned down was told by the insurance company
that his policy provided that the company build a new
barn, rather than pay him the cash value of it.
The farmer pondered over this. “say, if you fellows
promise me a brand new wife, I'll take out a policy on
her life,” proposed the old man hopefully. |
|
We know a
girl who was cleared out of nudist colony because she
had something on her mind. |
|
A bore is
a person who talks when you want him to listen. |
|
Why is it
easier to be a clergyman than a physician?
Because it is easier to preach than to practice. |
|
A woman
customer was inspecting a case of revolvers.
“Here's a very nice pistol, madam,” recommended the
clerk.
“It shoots eight times”.
“Say, what do you think I am,” demanded the woman
haughtily, “a polygamist?” |
|
Florist:
“Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, Sir”.
Man on the street: “I haven't got a wife”.
Florist: “Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart”.
Man: “I don't have a sweetheart either”.
Florist: “Well then, buy a couple of bunches to
celebrate your good fortune”. |
|
A station
master at Muthura received wire to look after a dog and
its puppies. It read: One bitch and two sons of bitches
by 5 down. Look out.” |
|
A
Prisoner is one person who doesn't mind being
interrupted in the middle of a sentence. |
|
A Bachelor is a man who
never Mrs anybody. |
|
A highlight in the Bermuda
court came when a woman demanded a divorce. Her grounds?
“Judge,” she said, “I have reason to believe my husband
is not the father of my last child”. |
I met a little salesgirl,
I met her in the fall,
And every time I kissed her,
She cried, “will that be all?” |
|
A girl with a well-developed
sense of fashion realized that bare skin never clashes
with anything she's wearing. |
