|
|
Sindhi Style divorce.
After 48 years of marriage, an elderly Sindhi man in
Bombay calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to
ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your
mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of misery
is enough!”
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We
can't stand the sight of each other any more," says the
old man.."We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of
talking about this. Call your sister in Hong Kong and
tell her what I said!”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts,
"I'll take care of this." She calls Bombay immediately,
and screams at the old man, "You are not getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm
calling my brother back, and we'll both be there
tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??"
and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for
Diwali and paying their own airfare!!" |
|
|
What you see
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip,
set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later,
Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that
tell you?" Watson ponders for a minute.” Astronomically
speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it
tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to
be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's
evident the lord is all powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a
beautiful day tomorrow. What does that tell you?" Holmes
is silent for a moment, then speaks."Watson you idiot,
someone has stolen our tent."
-By Kajal Ashar |
|
|
Treatment
“Doctor, how critical is my condition?"
“You don't worry,"the doctor smiled. "But I am told that
doctors sometimes make wrong diagnosis. I know one case
where the doctor treated a patient for pneumonia and he
died of typhoid,” the patient continued.
“ I assure you” the doctor adds, “I would never allow that
to happen. If I treat a man for pneumonia, he dies of
pneumonia. Understand?"
-by Stephen Gomez, Colaba |
|
|
17th chapter
The priest told his congreration that the following
week, he would preach on lying.
He asked them to read the 17th chapter of the gospel of St
Mark. The next Sunday, he asked from the pulpit how many
had done the reading he had assigned. Many hands went up.
“I see", the priest said with a chuckle. "You are the very
people I wish to preach to. There is no 17th chapter in St
Mark's gospel".
by Stephen Gomez, Colaba |
|
|
Hercules
The passenger was panting for breath as he ran to the
enquiry counter at the railway station.
“Morning,"he greeted the clerk at the counter.
"Morning," said the man at the counter.
"Is the train on platform 1 my train?" he asked.
"No sir,it belongs to the Indian Railways".
"I mean, can I take this train to New Delhi?"
"I don't think so?"
"Why?"
"Its too heavy for any man to carry. And you sir, are no
Atlas or Hercules," the clerk chuckled.
- by Stephen Gomez, Colaba |
|
|
Make our Readers Laugh A
Lot & Win A Prize…
Send set of 15 Jokes or more and win one year subscription
of Opportunities Today worth Rs. 240
Mail your jokes to Opportunities Today,
Post Box 6493,
Mumbai 4000016
or Email:
otmag@rbcsgroup.com
Less than 10 jokes will be published along with name of
the sender. |
| |
|
