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• Be a Fundamentalist
- make sure the Fun always comes before the mental.
Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never
be cancelled. A laugh track has been provided, and the
reason why we are put in the material world is to get
more material. Have a good laugh twice a day, and that
will ensure regularhilarity. |
• Remember that each
of us has been given a special gift, just for entering -
so you are already a winner! |
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• The most powerful
tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is where I
tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That
way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we
can simply change the channel. |
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Life is like photography. You
use the negative to develop. |
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• It is true, as we go
through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles
tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition
called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a
day. And when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga,
remember what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness Training
class: *Don't get even, get odd.* |
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• If we want world
peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live
like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at
me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet.
And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a
little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit
together to make one big peace everywhere. |
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• I know great earth
changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're
looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When
you find a fault, just don't dwell on it. |
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• There's no need to
change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the
world, and we'll never have to change it again. |
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• If you're looking to
find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and
some good news. The bad news is: there is no key to the
Universe. The good news is: it has been left unlocked. |
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• Finally, everything
I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don't like
it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not
a bureaucracy. So we don't have to go through channels. |
