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Strife is common occurrence in
life. Everyday we see conflicts arising from difference of
views and disagreement - be it at school, college, house or
office. Even while commuting, watching TV we come across such
situations. At the time when we watch others going through
strife we ponder at the cause, we don't react, we rather
respond and think of solutions and way out from the unpleasant
situations. |
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The
basic cause of strife - the unhappy or irritating
situation is spontaneous reaction. People react to
even happy situations and enjoy themselves for those
are neutral and soothing situations. We do not enjoy
what we don't like so we react and even become
aggressive. This leads to conflict or strife. |
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Is
there a way out? Certainly and quite easy too when one
keeps an open mind and puts sincere efforts. |
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Step
number one is to keep cool to assess the situation and
views of the other side. Keeping cool will save your
energy which you can utilize in understanding and
evaluating the “real” situation. The next step would
be to respond pro-actively. This is done by applying
your mind to deal fairly. Even if the other person is
wrong instead of retaliating or being offensive or
making irritating statements you should coolly
communicate, may be in a firm tone, the facts. This
will soothe instead of adding fuel to the fire and
logic will prevail upon the person. Wherever possible
one should give way. Thus it will lead to diffusion of
tension, dispelling conflict and eliminating strife.
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A word
of caution, since people like to manipulate others,
knowing what works on the other person to make him
give in, they use all kinds of tactics or strategies,
sometimes trying emotional blackmail or digging the
past so that you feel guilty to give in or even
appease. In such situations give a pause to argument
instead of giving in and little later firmly explain
facts in a neutral way without being unfair or even
partial. |
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With
children one can be rather calm and tactful instead of
responding threateningly or punishing, which can leave
permanent scars and make them introvert or rebellious.
With them giving a pause is always a better way. A
general tone of sweet firmness and sometimes humour is
conducive to resolving.
One learns through one's experiences. By reflecting on
each unpleasant situation one can get guidelines for
amicable and pleasant way out and graduate to
eliminate strife. |
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Stop
being bitter. Accept, understand and sympathetically
resolve the problem and strife is bound to be
eliminated from your life. |
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