Ralph: "How much weight can
you carry?"
Sam: About a hundred pounds".
Ralph: "What would you do if you had to rescue a
two-hundred-pound man?"
Sam: "I would make two trips". |
Tourist (pointing to large
skull) : whose skull is that Mr. Guide.
Guide: It's of Mussolini
Tourist (pointing toa small skull) : whose skull is that
Mr. Guide
Guide: Skull of Mussolini when he was just six. |
Teacher: (to students) : 'M"
for
Ricky: 'M' for My Mother
Teacher: Good, Now what is 'W' for Tom (promptly):
Ricky's inverted mother |
Teacher: Alan, why have you
come to school wearing a banian. and an underwear.
Alan: Sir, because my uniform have not dried after
washing.
Teacher: Go home and call your father
Alan: He cannot come Sir
Teacher: why?
Alan: Because I am wearing his underwear and banian |
Teacher: Sam, why didn't you
come to school yesterday
Sam: Because I fell down, Sir
Teacher: from where? From the mountain, from the
building, from the sky. Say; from where did you fall?
Sam: from my cot, Sir. |
Competition: How long can
one stay with a skunk.
Three Participants' : American, Australian & Pakistani.
American's capacity: 25 minutes
Australian's capacity: 50 minutes
Skunk's capacity: 10 seconds |
|
Politician: I never lie with
my "tung-u". Politician's P.A : Sir, not "tung - u" it's
tongue Politician: Don't 'Arg’ |
In a cow milking competition
three countries had taken part viz India Australia &
Holland. .
Result:- Australian milked 80 litres, Dutch milked 150
litres and Indian milked just 100 ml.
When the Indian was asked about his poor performance he
said that whites are completely biased towards Indians
and they had not given me a cow but a bull. |
Teacher: Tell the English
alphabets
Jane: Sir, in capital letters or small letters?
Teacher (to headmaster) : Nowadays
students are so dumb that when I asked a student to tell
the alphabets, she asked me whether I should say in
capital letters or small letters.
Headmaster: So in which letters did the student narrate? |
Kimberly: Do not add lime
juice in milk, Jill.
The milk will get turned apart
Jill : Do not worry Kimberly. My father is a tailor. He
will sew the tarn milk together. |
