The teacher had written 92.74 on the blackboard and to show the effect of multiplying by ten, had rubbed out the decimal point.
"Now, Jyoti," she said, "where is the decimal point?" "On the duster," replied Jyoti.

Prison visitor: “And what brought you to this place?”
Prisoner: “A cold in the head”
Visitor:“ But how can that be ?”
Prisoner: “I sneezed and woke up the night watchman”

A drunk was sitting in the corner of a bar, slowly nodding his head back and forth, and saying, "Tick.......tock... ... .tick.…… tock... ... .Tick... '" ... Tock... ... ...".
The barman went over to him and said, "Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm all right," said the drunk.
"Well, what are you doing?"
"Can't you shee?" said the drunk, "I'm a clock"
"On yeah? Ok - what time is it?" asked the barman. The drunk said, "Half past ten"
"Oh, no it isn't "said the barman, glancing at his wrist watch." lt's quarter to eleven". "My God!" said the drunk. "I must be slow!
Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock... ... .... ... ..!"

Papa : "No, I won't buy a trumpet for you. You'd disturb me too much with it".
Jack : "I wouldn't, pa, I'd only play it while you are asleep".

A fellow who had been drinking all evening staggered over to the telephone booth, and dialed a number with some difficulty. "Hello! Hello!" he shouted and a voice at the other end of the phone said. "Hello! Hello!" Banging the receiver angrily, the drunk exclaimed, "This phone has an echo!"

Two men appearing in court on a charge of being drunk and disorderly: "where do you live?" asked the magistrate.
"No fixed abode, your Honour" said the first drunk.
"And where do you live?" asked the magistrate to the second drunk.
"In the flat above him, your Honour".

The intoxicated hotel guest went up to the reception desk and said angrily. "Why didn't you call me at seven 0' clock this morning as I asked?"
"Because sir," said the receptionist politely, "you were so drunk that you didn't get to bed until nine thirty".

A man had been visiting friends for dinner. As it was late when he left for home, somewhat the worse for drink, they lent him a torch so he could find his way. About an hour later, there was a knock on the door, and there stood Patrick. "I found my way home all right", he said, "so I've just brought your torch back".

"I hear your husband's taken up yoga. Has it helped him with his drinking problems?"
"In one way, yes! Now he can drink standing on his head".

Visitor: "Why did they put this station so far away from the village?"
Villager: "I expect they wanted it to be as close as possible to the railway line”

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