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Human beings have
great power, be it negative or positive. Let's see how each side
works in managing or damaging relationships. Let's not forget it's
the relationship and the quality of it that goes to bind together
or drift apart individuals and make life happy or otherwise.
In the matter of relationships, being “good” is not good enough
for it is inter-personal interaction that matters. It sounds
strange, but it's so! Here is why.Each person's response to an
other person is variable. It changes according to the reaction
that person makes in his mind towards the other. For example, when
a friend smiles at you, normally you would consider it a
complement or courtesy and reciprocate. But when you have a
prejudice or preset notion that he is being sarcastic or making
fun, of course there is a smile of that kind too, but even an
innocent smile is taken as an offense since your reaction is
driven by your pre-set mind, just as when you have blue glasses on
your eyes that would make even the purest white look blue!
Relationship Damagers.
This example amply establishes the disadvantage or damage that is
caused through a preset notion. Most human beings have pre-set
mode of responses for particular person that every good thing is
already deemed to be bad. It's the established pre-conceived
notion that guides a person than an affectionate or neutral mind.
There is always the other side of the coin too which though good
can cause havoc and wreck relationships. |
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Since people have a great listening ear for a particular
individual and a growing negative mindset for another, the person
can become a ball or shuttle-cock between two rackets. All the
“saas bahu” soap sagas are based on this broad principle. Many
times the person is so traumatized that he goes to extremes of
breaking relationships. When he realizes the manipulating game, he
may make up and become alert and discreet for future and be
positive and understanding instead of being hasty and impulsive in
reactions. How to be strong and use discretion is easy. There are
3 steps to be a winner in relationships. First and foremost is to
keep cool and have a neutral mind. This helps in lending your ear
without getting upset or making immediate judgments. Next is
accepting with an open mind the situation and understanding it for
salvaging instead of reacting abruptly without complete knowledge.
This all requires some time to reach the right conclusion. Lastly,
“be positive” to repair the damage even by being forgiving and
helping people change for better and reconciling.
Such simple approach is sign of one's being in command of any
tough situation instead of being propelled by circumstances and
emotions or pushed by maneuvers of manipulators. So be cool, give
time to understand and be discreet using a positive approach to
life. Of course, “forgive and forget” is a divine virtue which
only humans can practice, and that they ought to as they are
superior in this animal kingdom.
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